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[[exalted_gi:episode_5]]


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Session Five: Zombie Immigration Crisis!

(It's Like An Apocalypse)

The party reconvened at their hotel, and discovered the slight discrepancy in their tasks (drive Skullstone off Muddy Reefs quietly vs. bloody their nose). So without further ado, they gleefully hopped into their ship and away they sailed. 

After a week, they arrive at Muddy Reefs. After a brief interlude where they try to find someone to pay docking fees to and discover that absolutely everyone is willing to take their money, they scout the town and find it mostly unchanged, except for more paved roads and some scaffolding on the front of the Merchant Consortium building. Questioning a random bystander revealed that zombie work gangs showed up and started making civic improvements, and a bit after that, a woman showed up and started preaching.  Emerald Hammer decides that Zenith Caste means Lawful Stupid paladin, and that he therefore hates the undead. So Third Monsoon takes him drinking instead (a plan with which nothing could go tragically wrong). Ranger Brad scouts the town and locates a couple work gangs, led by ghosts. 

Orchid and Rabbit head for the Consortium building, and after a bit of futzing about, find the three most successful merchants: a jewler (Brilliant Parakeet), a gem broker (Stewed Rabbit), and a trans-shipper (Scarlet Orchard). With no further planning, they approach Brilliant Parakeet.  “We are to be wed!” proclaims Quixotic Spring Rabbit, while Copper Orchid looks shocked and confused. “We are deeply in love!” he continues. Stunned silence prevails. “We require a wedding ring! The largest of rings!”

“Aww, you're cute!” exclaims Parakeet. “I'll help you out.” 

“Excellent,” replies Bunny. “So how about those zombies?” 

They went into an impromptu social combat, and Parakeet burned a bunch of willpower and lost some points of intimacy toward Skullstone (which he had from having already been worked on by Skullstone for a week). His arguments back stumped Bunny a couple times, because they are superficially plausible, but that exchange did not end with Bunny taking the helpful pamphlets (which is tragic). After that, there was a bit more flirting, and Parakeet agreed to meet them at a bar later. 

Onward to Stewed Rabbit. Once again, Bunny opens with “We are to be wed!” Stewed Rabbit does not care. He deals in gems. In volume. It's not like he's uninterested in selling them a diamond, but there's just no single stone he's going to get excited over. 

Bunny bobbled, then recovered “…so we will need jewel-encrusted toilets. At least seven jewel-encrusted toilets. One with each kind of jewel.” That works fine as a reason for him to talk to them for a while, so they again immediately segue into “how 'bout them zombies?” this time goes better. The pro-zombie contingent (Stewed Rabbit) again offers plausible arguments, but his heart isn't in it (blew all his willpower resisting the abyssal conditioning. Good for him). They quickly hit a scene's worth of convincing, and again agree to meet at a bar later to further discuss Bunny's toilet needs. 

Finally, Scarlet Orchard. Once again, “We are to be wed!” opens the discussion. The gem-encrusted toilets also make a reappearance. Now though, they are to be high quality toilets. The highest of quality! Scarlet Orchard might know where to get some high quality toilets, in exchange for exorbitant fees… Again though, the conversation immediately moves to zombies. This time though, Bunny is betrayed by the treacherous dice, and completely fails to make headway. So he end-runs the conversation and makes Orchard paranoid that zombies will “eat his tasty brain-meats”. Hugely successful. He also agrees to meet them later at the bar. 

Ranger Brad continued scouting about, gathering info on the work gangs. Hammer and Monsoon  continue drinking. The party continues cracking wise about “Doctor Miss Murder's” murderous propensities, and Hammer's many illegitimate children. 

Bunny and Orchid head to the bar. They spend a while longer pushing on the merchants' intimacies (losing willpower themselves) then Bunny takes Brilliant Parakeet upstairs to work on a different kind of intimacy.

Everyone waits for evening, when a woman apparently comes and preaches sermons about Skullstone. That happens, and she shows up. Everyone wanders over to listen, except Quixotic Spring Rabbit, who bursts through a second story window, then wanders over to listen quietly. After a few minutes, they start heckling. It has no effect whatsoever (combination of bad roles and a social-focused opponent).. So they get bored, wander off, and kill one of the work gangs. With fire. It still takes way too long, but the session ends there.